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| Much to my dismay, I have a desk job. And, to maintain my stamina, I stuff inordinate amounts of food into my face. Maybe the other solution to the maintenance of stamina is getting more sleep. That solution is too simple. I'd rather drink lots of coffee and eat lots of food and get fat. I don't think tonight's kickball game will be sufficient. I'll need to follow-up with a little run. :)
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| There's this book called The Artist's Way. It talks about how writing consistently everyday helps the creative juices going. I am going to test this out.
About 2 months ago, I graduated from Harvard Graduate School of Education with a Masters of Education in Learning and Teaching. Now, I am working as a temporary program officer at World Education. My hope is that the experience I get as an orchestrator, administrator and a finance scrutinizer will equip me for the day and moment I take the leap and decide to start my own non-profit organization. Then I will help boys and girls learn science and they will bring development to the hurting continent of Africa. Maybe this blog is just the beginning.
It's hard for me to not want to write to an audience. But really, I have to keep telling myself, who cares?? I mean, honestly, why do I want to please others so much? I don't like having to live up to others' expectations.
My first topic: Religion. Among my non-Christian friends, I find remarkable resistance to understanding the Christian faith. They know tidbits of Christianity, but they don't know all of it. I don't profess to know everything about all faiths, but it seems unfair to judge without complete information. I see why different religions or lack of religions can be appealing to different people for different reasons. Along these same lines, why do some Christians judge other religions or lack thereof without really understanding what they criticize?
When I was an undergraduate, I took religious studies and studied south eastern religions. I appreciated understanding the factual beginnings of Hinduism and Islam in Asia. All religions teach their history as truth, no matter how supernatural and mystical it may seem. No doubt, there can be so much to appreciate in these religions. No, I don't think that all gods are true. If I did, this would contradict my faith in God as Jesus Christ. It's like saying I see blue when I really see red. I'd be lying to others and myself. So I state my beliefs while I acknowledge the beliefs of others.
This leads me to my next point: evangelism. I understand the urgency. The world could end any moment, according to the Bible, so we live every day as if it were the last. However, does this justify those who try to convince and necessarily persuade others of our beliefs in an aggressive manner?? Shouldn't the truth (As we choose to believe it) speak for itself? If we simply present the information, don't our minds have the capability to process the information? I think evangelism has taken a connotation and tone that works against its goal. It's aggressive stance and manner has turned a lot of people off. After learning about human development and learning, I realize that force-feeding information isn't the most effective way to teach or convince someone of something. Our abilities to absorb and process information is not dependent on fancy words or methods. What teachers (or facilitators or sharers of information) can rely on for their students (or learners) is the effectiveness of presenting relevant, true and engaging information. What I am saying, essentially is presenting the information, alone, is sufficient. We, too, must show that we are engaged with this information (but shouldn't this be a given?). All we need to do is make the information available and be ready for the moment that it is absorbed so that we can act as facilitators of further information processing.
I guess I'm just a huge proponent of the human mind. It's belittling to have someone tell me what is right and wrong. God gave me a brain to think with and an innate conscience that tells me what is morally right and wrong. If you simply present the information to me, this is sufficient. Sometimes it takes me longer to understand and other times it is instantaneous. But I have faith that the truth will eventually reveal itself to me. I don't need someone to tell me how or what to think. This undermines the mind and heart that God gave me and I don't think He appreciates it either when others disregard it.
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| Goodness gracious. It's been nearly a year since I last blogged.
I can't shake the feeling of frustration. It's a wonder how certain people in my life always have ways of pushing the right buttons to throw me off kilter...
I've come to new perspectives and new levels of maturity. Following my passions, understanding them, and letting it take root in my soul. My passion is education. It's the international context. At first, many years ago, it was south asia, but something brought me to Africa. I never thought I could love the African diaspora so much. And to be honest, I think I've become a fanatic.
I wonder often if it is my place to have such a passion, to want to help a people that should be helping themselves. It's the ultimate development work question. How can we make this sustainable? Do I even have a role in this? What should my role be?
All I know is I love Africa. I love education. I love science and I love girls. Who wouldn't want to combine them into the most interesting life goal possibly imaginable? The question is: How do I get to the other side where my goal lies? Do I compromise my ideals and values and pay my dues? Or do I forge my own way, despite its instability and perceived folly? People's advice, which are intended to protect me and shock me with reality, only make me doubt their faith in me. Don't they think I can do it? What then, do they think that I lack? And, if I do lack something, where can I find this thing that I lack?
I'm so tired of dreaming of my visions coming true, as if they were pipe dreams. I want to run towards them and be the romantic. I want to start making them into reality. Maybe I don't make myself understood. I speak in riddles and fancy jargon. I can't help it. I can be secretive and allusive.
International development needs a new generation of leaders. Maybe I want to be one of them. International development is patience, taking the other sides' social perspective, and it is not as simple as a radical economic reform. We need realists who are optimists. We need outside of the box thinkers that don't mind checking out the inside of the box sometimes. Not everyone is willing to do this. I admit it is hard to be so contradictory, to live within so much cognitive dissonance. But I want this! i want to be this!
So please, stop underestimating me. I see you. I see them. I see the sky and the stars and moon. I see the cityline and then I see the blank faces of those of you working the 9 to 5 jobs. I see you. I'm sorry, but I want a lot more than that blank face. If that is what you call good, then I want something very bad.
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| Ca fait long temps que j'ai ecrit en Francais. J'ai vraiment envie de parler en Francais. Depuis mon arrivee ici en Amerique, je ne suis tellement a laisse. S'il vous plait, comment est-ce que je peux changer le clavier pour que je peux utiliser l'alphabet francais? Je suis perdue, quoi.
Bon, maintenant pour la verite. Je ne suis pas contente. Apres j'ai quitte Accra, je ne sais pas qu'est-ce que se passera avec moi. je vois mes amies qui m'entourre et je vois que leurs vies sont continues. Mais, ou est ma vie? Mes copains, ils sont changee. J'ai laisse tout mes amies et copains et ma vie nouvelle en Afrique. Je veux retourner. Est-ce que je peux recaptiver ceux que j'avais?
Alors, moi aussi, je suis changee, mais je suis restrictee par ma famille. Trop meme. A cause de ma famille, je suis taillee d'etre comme avant, comme j'etais. Attention! Je suis un nouvelle personne! Differente et mieux.
Une secrete. J'ai envie d'etre avec un garcon. Il s'appelle Ivan. Mais, il est en Afrique. Il est d'Afrique. Jamais. Je ne jamais pensais que je pourrais aimer un africain et imaginer une avenir ensemble. Pourtant nous sommes separare par une grande distance. Il est differente que les autres hommes que je recontrais. Il est un bon melange d'afrique et amerique. Il est assez interesant! Il est une partie de la raison que je veux retourner. Apres un peu de temp, peut-etre je peux l'oublier. Comme je vais completement oublier mes affections pour Geordie. Les hommes sont les hommes. Infidel toujours. C'est ca/
Vous savez, le premier brise de coeur m'a fait beaucoup de mal!
Alors, c'est tout pour le moment. Je vais continuer avec ma nouvelle vie ici en San Jose, California. 4 mois encore et puis je peux recommencer ma vie en Boston. Ca sera mieux, j'espere.
a bientot.
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| Soit Les Bienvenues.
Who reads this thing anyways?
I call this piece: Mind vomit. A little different from the paper journal variety, but nonetheless similar. I'm cleaning out my life. I'm assessing my life. It's a bit impressive on paper. In real life, it's boring. I need something to occupy my time these days. Swimming can soothe these unemployment sores for only so long.
I'm back from Peace Corps. After a long stint in Guinea, I had a shorter stint in Togo. There were likes, loves and hates and dirty children, but most of all there were boundaries expanded. I pushed myself to take on projects, to forge my own way, to try things that were weird, and most exciting of all, lived without electricity, running water, contact outside of my 20 km radius, and family umbilical cords.
There was a love. That was lost. There was my optimism. That was lost. There was my future. That was found.
My goal now: Go to school and earn a degree to take me to the next step in my life. What is this next step? I want to go back to the two-thirds world. It is so broken and I am inexplicably drawn to it. I love education, girls, pushing the envelope even though every grain of my body screams to follow the norm, and science.
I'm off to grad school and hopefully, there, I will make the connections and find that dream job. Maybe my cat can come along, if she behaves. (Did you hear that Maxie? You're on probation. Be good and I'll take you to see the rest of the world.)
Merci Beaucoup Pour Ta Visite. A La Prochaine!
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